Critiques and comments

Cobra (1986)

Wow, what a bad movie. Cobra revolves around the concept of Stallone being a badass. The entire plot seems more like a side-thought after the writer (Stallone himself, who wrote the screenplay) decided to base the movie on Stallone being a moderately civilised badass. He plays a cop with an attitude problem who just doesn't care so far as he's helping the fight against crime - even if his own fight against crime is even more violent than the violence he's fighting.

The movie is about as good as it is innovative. I've just watched it and I've pretty much forgotten the plot. Something about a hilarious sect that kills random people for no particular reason setting their sights on some random girl, who Stallone then has to save in his badass way. To do this, he at some point must shoot a grenade with a gun to set it off.

Although he's a badass who couldn't care less about justice or anything for that matter, he's not entirely destructive. In fact, Cobra frequently reminds other characters about their unhealthy habits (eating sweets, smoking, etc.) for no reason whatsoever except for the sake of showing that he doesn't entirely give a shit about health. Cobra's behaviour is usually quite arbitrary, at one second he's a tough cop and the next he just kills criminals out of some twisted sense of self-rightousness.

To sum things up, this movie is as bad as if not worse than Commando. The plot can't even be called shallow, it's *convex*, Twilight-style. I'm having a tough time imagining how thick a person would have to be to like this movie. Basically, Cobra mainly satisfies the weird "healthy badass" fetish of the 80s by putting this megatough-but-with-a-hidden-vulnerable-side Stallone on screen into a plot that makes absolutely no sense.

Not funny, not impressive, just dense. Speaking as someone who has no idea whether this film had any impact whatsoever in its time (and no interest in finding out), all I can hope for is that Cobra failed to become an idol for the aspiring young badasses of the time.

Rating: 0.0 / 5
Posted at: Aug 27, 2012 @ 00:07:50
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