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Piranha 3DD (2012)

I know from personal experience that if you try very hard to make something very stupid, at some point you'll just start making it more intelligently stupid. To make a film as stupid as Piranha 3DD, you need real talent. More than just a decade of chain-smoking weed and a lobotomy, you need to be born with it.

I consider Piranha 3D to be a real trash movie, but Piranha 3DD is different. Where the prequel was bad, Piranha 3DD is unbelievably stupid. Practically every scene that does not include David Hasselhoff or the mad Doc from "Back to the Future" is mind-numbing. I didn't have the strength to complain at the painfully stupid parts of the movie, possibly due to the fact that after the 150 negative IQ point penalty that this movie gives you, speaking is not something you know how to do.

I don't even know what to say. The movie's sole merit was probably intended to be the amount of "D"s in it, but after the first 10 or so minutes of the movie, I don't think I even recognised the significance of boobs because this experimental Nazi fucking medical procedure (read: "movie") acts as a blocker of any brain function higher than basic vital organ control.

The verdict: the single funny part in the movie is David Hasselhoff turning around three times to contemplate rescuing a kid from the pool. The "Doc" gets recycled from the movie before, in a lamer way, but still counts as a merit because everything else is so bad. The movie is mostly BEYOND UNBEARABLY STUPID, closer to having a "free head MRI" coupon shoved into your hand as you stumble out of the cinema. Not the worst film I've ever watched, but definitely the stupidest.

Rating: 0.5 / 5

Posted at: Oct 12, 2012 @ 11:13:23